Bryce Harper once took a box of 12 baseballs and hit 25 home runs.

Bryce Harper calculates his own batting average by dividing by zero.

Bryce Harper doesn’t make rookie mistakes, however veteran players are known to make Bryce Harper mistakes.

The CDC is now encouraging fans to wear ear protection in the vicinity of Nationals Park for when Bryce Harper breaks the sound barrier throwing runners out at home.

Upon reading the Sports Illustrated article describing Harper’s ability to play baseball, Osama Bin Laden, Moammar Gadhafi, and Kim Jong-Il held a summit to discuss the threat he could pose to them in the future. They (obviously) found no solution to the problem.
-Jack

Bryce Harper worked at Holister and did not wear their clothing.

Major "King" Kong a.k.a Slim Pickens wouldn't dare ride a Bryce Harper bomb. #DrStrangelove
-Dedicated to Mr. Vasellas, RLASHS

A full portrait of Bryce Harper’s 800th HR is already hanging in the National Gallery.
-Andrew

A full portrait of Bryce Harper’s 800th HR is already hanging in the National Gallery.
-Andrew

Unlike most baseball players, Bryce Harper doesn’t chew tobacco; he gnaws on excellence.