Bryce Harper is the president's favorite team; just Bryce Harper and no one else. 

Numerous complaints from starting pitchers will cause Major League Baseball to create the "ground-rule home run" which will be called immediately whenever Bryce Harper steps foot into the batter's box. 

Bryce Harper got to the end of "The Never Ending Story." 

Bryce Harper bodyslammed Hulk Hogan while Hogan was bodyslamming Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III. 

The College of Southern Nevada is now offering classes in Harpology, otherwise known as "the study of the greatest athlete ever."

In the land before time, there was Bryce Harper.

If you could take the square root of Bryce Harper, you would be left with a player twice as good as Matt Wieters with a knock-off nickname like "I-Rod".

Sammy Hagar can't drive 55, but Bryce Harper could throw him out if he ran that fast.

Bryce Harper will not have a jersey number to wear during his professional baseball career. Every time he inquires to the Washington Nationals about a number, Major League Baseball is forced to retire it immediately do to his immense greatness.

To help fight cramps, most athletes will eat a banana. Bryce Harper on the other-hand is known to eat a banana tree.