Every time Bryce Harper gets a severe sunburn, the skies chance of getting skin cancer increases by 35%.
-Matt
-Matt
Bryce Harper went on a mission trip to El Salvador with his church last summer. It is estimated that 3 out of 4 locals now practice Harperism. Reggie Jackson was known as Mr. October. Bryce Harper will be known as Mr. Everyday-Of-The Year. To bad that is so long. He'll just have to go by B-Harp instead. The LAPD were recently developing less lethal weapons to be utilized by their police officers. The idea of Bryce Harper home run swings were immediately dismissed. Major League Baseball has always used wooden bats since its formation in 1901. Various team owners have suggested a rule change allowing limited use of metal bats for teams facing Bryce Harper in an attempt to "even the playing field." It is sad to say that these "various team owners" have not been heard of since. -Inspired by D-Walsh "Simply The Best" was B-Harp's parents first option for his name, however they did not think it was good enough for him. -Jacob NASA has decided to replace the new Ares Launch Vehicles with Bryce Harper's home runs. The Pentagon is interested in adapting Bryce Harper's home runs for use against the Taliban. A new plan for a Las Vegas casino will feature the Seven Wonders of the World, except instead of a statue of Zeus, it will feature a statue of Bryce Harper. |
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