Bryce Harper may not believe in superstitions, but superstitions believe in Bryce Harper.
In a survey of 3000 grade schoolers in the United States, 20 percent wanted to be astronauts, 13 percent wanted to be President, and 3 percent wanted to be janitors. The other 64 percent wanted to be Bryce Harper. Like Yogi Berra said, “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is Bryce Harper.” Everyone knows the geometric equation BH = A. Which of course means Bryce Harper = Awesome. A missile did not hit Muammar Gaddafi's compound. Just a Bryce Harper home run hit two weeks ago. The 80’s rock ballad “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)” by Cinderella is actually a message to the Washington Nationals if they ever consider trading the Harp. Bryce Harper will not be playing for the Hagerstown Suns. He will be playing for the Hagerstown Harps. An atomic bomb, similar to that dropped on Hiroshima, has approximatley half of the potential energy of one Bryce Harper home run. |
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